That One Boy

     Well, nuff said. here we go. Its kinda a love story of course. I like a boy. He's the new boy in my school. At first, I hate him because I think that he's so damn annoying boy I've ever met in my life. Everytime I see him or bump into with him, I was like "oh my god. Why I always have to bump into with him? Can you not?" It's happening again and again and again and again. I always scoffed him everytime I bump into him but he doesn't even know. I scoffed him with something that relate to him.

  

    Until that one fine day, I realized that I like him. I love him tho. I can't help myself from him. I really wanna talk to him but I don't have that strength because I'm afraid I will annoy him back then. It controls me instead. Really what people say, "do not be so hate someone because at the end of the day we'll love him." I was speechless then everytime I remember of this quotes. I realized I love him when everytime I see him talking to other girls, its killing me deep. Since that day, I can't stop thinking about him. I dreamed about him 12 times in a row. Then, I don't wanna call by his name in public so I decided to call him with a nickname, I called him 'Hopper'. I chose name 'Hopper' because I adore a guy in Battleship named 'Alex Stone Hopper'. I always tweet about 'Hopper' on my twitter account. "Hopper this, Hopper that, I saw Hopper" kinda. Until one day, that boy asked me "Btw, aku ada nampak nama hopper kat twitter kau. Siapa tu? Budak maktab lain? :O" 

     

     On that time, I was speechless + awkward at the same time. Who doesn't surprised when a boy that he likes asked like that, right?? I was honest with him. I said to him the 'Hopper' was him. And finally he knew it. Everytime I saw him I feel like I want to punch him. Thats BEFORE, before I realized that I love him. Now everytime I saw or bump into him, I feel so shy. I don't know why. I'm afraid of my height, my appearance tho. I'm not that beautiful, I'm not that perfect, I'm not that taller, I'm not that skinny. I'm just an ordinary person who always feel insecure everytime I see Hopper talks to another girls who is far more beautiful than me or far more perfect than me. I feel that way. 

    Hopper, if you want me to wait, I will . Of course I will wait bcs I'm faithful to a person that I love. I won't loyal if I don't like you. Sometimes I'm wondering do he remember what he told me before?? My friend said, "Nisya, please move on. I don't wanna look you to be hurt" Yassss I don't know. You don't know how I feel because once I care about someone or once I love someone, it's hard for me to stop. Once I love someone, it makes me love them even more. I don't know what I should do now.

   For Hopper (if you read this):

           I know I shouldn't say like this. I know I shouldn't write like this. I know I shouldn't do this. but, it's how I express myself. I know you'll think that I'm so damn annoying. You must think, "ape masalah dia ni??" I know you'll think that way. Hopper, I wanna say sorry if I always annoy you, sorry if I always text you, sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable at school. I know ITS ALL MY FAULT FOR DOING THAT. I'M REALLY SORRY I SHOULDN'T TALK LIKE THIS :(

     I know life's not a movie and I know I should stop expecting it to be. "Truthfully, I could talk about you all day and all night and I'd still have a million more things to say. But too many words become meaningless, so I'll just leave it at you're the most wonderful person I've ever met and I can't imagine not having you in my life" - this quotes

IM SORRY