DREAMER

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Insecure

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Well, I dont know how I feel right now. I mean, I do love him. I called him 'Hopper'. Well I have tried to hate him. I have tried to forget him. I have tried to get rid him out of my life. But I failed. I dont know why. Its not that I dont love him, I do love him. VERY VERY VERY MUCH. I just dont want to feel hurt anymore.

Why I dont want to feel hurt anymore? Its bcs of the way he treats people especially the girls. "aww cmon he's a boy. of course he treats people like that". Yeah Yeah I know. But you know what, I feel like an idiot for liking and loving him. Its bcs he's tall, handsome kind of boy. While when it comes to me, I'm nothing. I'm a short girl, fat *maybe*, not so pretty and I do feel insecure when I bump into Hopper. I'm totally nothing compared to other girls who are far more prettier than me. The other girls are so damn pretty, gorgeous, hot and cute. It's like I'm not good enough for Hopper. I'm really ashamed of myself when I bump into him. I always feel that he sees a monster when he sees me. Seriously. Sometimes I feel like "why I can be like other girls who have perfect life??"

I still remember all those words that he said to me. I remember every single words. I just afraid that he will forget what he said to me. Bcs all the rumours I heard about him made me feel like Aaarrgghhhh!!! "Hey nisya, Hopper is with someone else!" "Nisya, he posted a picture of his crush on his group chat" "Nisya, Hopper this Hopper that" AARGHHH! PLEASE STOP! I need to see my future right now, but I know I won't bcs its Allah's secret. I just dont want to feel this anymore. ever.

Yours sincerely,

Khairunnisya

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Millions of Opinions and Why Are You My Clarity

Hey we meet again here :) Today I wanna tell you guys again about that boy. It's not all about him. Yeah sometimes I need people's opinion tho to continue my damn life. okay, hm. I always whisper to myself, "should I move on or not? should I move on or not? should I? Should I back off or not??" Damn these words are killing me down deep seriously I tell you here. I don't know what to do because this is so damn confusing me tho. I mean I love you, I'm fronting, the feeling is mutual but man you ain't getting me back you delusional. At one side I know I need people's opinion to survive from this kind of feelings.

So here, I asked some opinion from my friends. ((Girls' opinion)):
A girl said, "Nisya, please go on with yourself. You're too young to think about this. You need to focus on your study first." Then, B girl said like this, "It's up to you to move on or not. If it's not hurting you, you can go on with it.". "Nisya, if you really love that boy, you should go on if it's not hurting you. If you want to wait for him for 1 year and half, you should have that strength since he's so friendly to everyone. Im afraid that at the end of the day, you'll hurt yourself. I don't want it to be happen to you. If you have that strength to wait for him, then go on dear."

Okay lets we hear to the boys' opinion:
A boy said "wehh Nisya. you know what, this is so simple thing. You should get over it. You can handle it by your own self. Okay sorry. First you shouldn't think of all of this. It will effect your study. It's too early for you to think okay." I was like haihhh if I can handle it by myself, I won't ask people's opinion dude. B boy (senior) said, "Nisya, before this I think like that too. I thought that I'll wait for her since secondary school. At last when I went to university, there's lots of girls there. You don't need to wait for him because after he's registered at university, he'll meet many people there. For sure he won't love you anymore. When he meets the new one, he'll forget the old. The old one that wait for him. So, just move on." I was like abang oi your words are so damn deep seriously . I just can't get over it. HEELLLPPPPPP!

Another side, my cousin a.k.a the newborn lawyer ((his words to me)):
"Nisya, if I'm the boy that you love I won't wait. I mean, I'll forget. It's not that I want to put you down. It's reality in our world now. The technologies world that we're living in it. If you guys are meant to be, it will happen on its own. You just have to follow the flow. Even though you guys are being apart, like I said just now, if meant to be, it will happen. Don't push yourself. C'mon, you're 16 girl. You have lots of stuff to deal with. Don't ruin yourself with these things. Now focus on your study."

Dear guys that have help me a lot, I wanna thank you guys for your opinion. I know I'm too much for this. I'm sorry, it's my bad. I shouldn't think of this. Now, I'll try to let it go. Doesn't mean that I wanna stop loving him. It's just I love him so much. It's just I have to follow the flow. "If meant to be, it will happen on its own". I have to focus on my study for my target to continue my study in overseas :)

Saturday, August 30, 2014

That One Boy

Well, nuff said. here we go. Its kinda a love story of course. I like a boy. He's the new boy in my school. At first, I hate him because I think that he's so damn annoying boy I've ever met in my life. Everytime I see him or bump into with him, I was like "oh my god. Why I always have to bump into with him? Can you not?" It's happening again and again and again and again. I always scoffed him everytime I bump into him but he doesn't even know. I scoffed him with something that relate to him.

Until that one fine day, I realized that I like him. I love him tho. I can't help myself from him. I really wanna talk to him but I don't have that strength because I'm afraid I will annoy him back then. It controls me instead. Really what people say, "do not be so hate someone because at the end of the day we'll love him." I was speechless then everytime I remember of this quotes. I realized I love him when everytime I see him talking to other girls, its killing me deep. Since that day, I can't stop thinking about him. I dreamed about him 12 times in a row. Then, I don't wanna call by his name in public so I decided to call him with a nickname, I called him 'Hopper'. I chose name 'Hopper' because I adore a guy in Battleship named 'Alex Stone Hopper'. I always tweet about 'Hopper' on my twitter account. "Hopper this, Hopper that, I saw Hopper" kinda. Until one day, that boy asked me "Btw, aku ada nampak nama hopper kat twitter kau. Siapa tu? Budak maktab lain? :O"

On that time, I was speechless + awkward at the same time. Who doesn't surprised when a boy that he likes asked like that, right?? I was honest with him. I said to him the 'Hopper' was him. And finally he knew it. Everytime I saw him I feel like I want to punch him. Thats BEFORE, before I realized that I love him. Now everytime I saw or bump into him, I feel so shy. I don't know why. I'm afraid of my height, my appearance tho. I'm not that beautiful, I'm not that perfect, I'm not that taller, I'm not that skinny. I'm just an ordinary person who always feel insecure everytime I see Hopper talks to another girls who is far more beautiful than me or far more perfect than me. I feel that way.

Hopper, if you want me to wait, I will . Of course I will wait bcs I'm faithful to a person that I love. I won't loyal if I don't like you. Sometimes I'm wondering do he remember what he told me before?? My friend said, "Nisya, please move on. I don't wanna look you to be hurt" Yassss I don't know. You don't know how I feel because once I care about someone or once I love someone, it's hard for me to stop. Once I love someone, it makes me love them even more. I don't know what I should do now.

For Hopper (if you read this):

I know I shouldn't say like this. I know I shouldn't write like this. I know I shouldn't do this. but, it's how I express myself. I know you'll think that I'm so damn annoying. You must think, "ape masalah dia ni??" I know you'll think that way. Hopper, I wanna say sorry if I always annoy you, sorry if I always text you, sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable at school. I know ITS ALL MY FAULT FOR DOING THAT. I'M REALLY SORRY I SHOULDN'T TALK LIKE THIS :(

I know life's not a movie and I know I should stop expecting it to be. "Truthfully, I could talk about you all day and all night and I'd still have a million more things to say. But too many words become meaningless, so I'll just leave it at you're the most wonderful person I've ever met and I can't imagine not having you in my life" - this quotes

IM SORRY

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

MTV EMAs

Heyy stalkers. Welcome! No hate. Lol. This video is about the MTV EMAs , November 11,2012. Yeah, My idol,Justin Bieber, won 3/4 awards. It's the Best Male,the Best World Stage & the Best Pop Album. He didn't won the Biggest Fans because his Beliebers are family,not fans. Lol .. He didn't came to MTV EMAs because he's quite busy now for his Believe Tour. So, Scooter Braun came to Frakfurt,German to represent Justin for the EMAs. Yeah! School boy.

Carly Rae Jepsen also won 2 awards. It's the Best Song & the Best Push. Carly so deserves for the awards. Her song, Call Me Maybe is the best. We love that song. Besides that, PSYwon 1 award for the Best Music Video. Yeah, Gangnam Style! He's so awesome. Congrats people! The host was Heidi Klum. She's so beautiful and I adore her so much .

Friday, November 9, 2012

Two Great Men :)

Hi! I'm back after almost a year I didn't post here. Argh! Feel FREE,WILD & YOUNG! yeah! I'm a Belieber. Pretty sure all of you has know that right? haha ,Lol .I just wanna do random post here. I don't know , i'm a Belieber . aaaha , OKAY ENOUGH! Let'start with my great amazing idol named Justin Bieber >.< . I love him no matter what. He teaches me to NEVER SAY NEVER AND BELIEVE DREAM CAN COME TRUE. yes! aha, He said that HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT THE FAME,HE JUST LOVES HIS BELIEBERS. almost 30 Millions Beliebers. We are stronger than the army. LOL . He once said " WORK HARD.PRAY.BELIEVE" . I hold that quote :) He's on Believe Tour now,so he might be quite busy BUT he will not forget his Beliebers. That's what makes him REAL. He doesn't need Disney Channel,X-Factor or Nickleodeon to make his dream come true. All he need is A GUITAR AND A DREAM .He has noticed and replied my tweet. I'm so grateful to have such a great idol like Justin :)

He's using his another account on Twitter named @HiddenBieber and he replied my tweet

This's Justin

Now,I wanna talk about a great Boy Belieber named Rian Costa. He lives in Brazil and I admired him so much. He's so cute and sweet. He deserves so much to meet Justin. He's nice Boy Belieber. I love how Rian treats his followers. His followers always happy when he's on Twitter. I wish one day I could meet him face to face and touch his face,cute face . Just BELIEVE, right Rian? ahaha , Here,take a look! It's Rian . (Rian,sorry because I copied your picture)

Rian Costa

Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Biggie Friends ^_^

Okayh ,I'm Nisya.. I did this because I don't want to lose my friends .. But , guys I'm sorry cuz I've copied ur pictures without your permission . I want to ask your forgiveness if I did wrongs to you . okayh , no biggie friends ^_^

Friday, November 25, 2011

Greyson Chance - Waiting Outside The Lines

Greyson Chance :)

oh my God ! this boy inspired me so much !!!!!!!!!!! his name is Greyson Chance ..

he has cute face , good voice and everything . i don't believe that this boy is one year older than me . he born ,16 August 1997 . and I was born at 4 May 1998 ! it's so hard to believe it . no matter what , this boy has inspired me so much and I LOVE HIM !!!!!!!!!